If you are a caretaker, consider this:

1. You might not be the person who is suffering or sick but this is happening to you too. You are caught in the ripple effects of this tragedy and so much love. You juggle the physical, emotional, financial, logistical needs of your loved one. AND you also need to take care of yourself because this crisis could last longer than you hope. So take time to consider what you need? Today? In the next month? In the next year?

2. Caretaking everyday can cause emotions to get tangled up in duty. Though your job is to care and offer comfort, you can not fix what has happened. You can’t find a cure. You can’t heal broken bodies. You cannot change what has happened. Take a moment to consider if you are caretaking to offer comfort and presence? Or are you caretaking on a mission to find a cure, or relieve some guilt, or trying to make it better in a way you simply cannot? Or maybe some of all of the above?

3. Caretakers need to be taken care of as well. Who could you ask to be in your network of support? Who can you talk to about your feelings, struggles, needs, frustrations? Who might be able to understand what you are going through? If your usual network of friends have fallen away, maybe it is time to dig deeper. Do an internet search for caretaker support groups near you. Check out caretaker groups online like the National Alliance for Caretakers or The Negative Space or look for more specific groups like a support group of caregivers for people with dementia or Alzheimers. Remember: You are not alone.

• This is written by Kate Bowler and is found on the portion of her website dedicated to caregivers. Click here to access her site and the resources there.